Writing Dialogue That Sounds Real

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New writers make the same mistake: they transcribe real speech.

"Um, well, you know, I was just thinking that maybe, like, we could possibly go to the store or something?"

That's how people actually talk.

It's also terrible dialogue.

Why Real Speech Fails on the Page

Real conversation is full of:

• Filler words ("um," "like," "you know")
• False starts ("I was... no, wait, actually...")
• Redundancy ("What I mean is, basically, essentially...")
• Tangents ("That reminds me of the time when...")
• Incomplete thoughts ("If we just... yeah.")

This works in speech because we have tone, body language, facial expressions.

On the page? It's noise.

What "Real" Dialogue Actually Means

Good dialogue sounds real. But it's not.

It's compressed speech. Edited. Purposeful. Every word earns its place.

Bad dialogue (transcribed):
"Um, so, like, I was thinking, you know, that maybe we could, I don't know, try something different? Like, not the usual thing we always do, but something new, maybe?"

Good dialogue (compressed):
"Let's try something different."

Same meaning. One-tenth the words. Ten times the impact.

The Rules of Good Dialogue

1. Cut filler words (mostly)

Remove "um," "uh," "like," "you know"—unless they reveal character.

A nervous character might say: "I, um, I don't know if..."

A confident character says: "I don't know."

Use filler strategically. Not habitually.

2. Every line should do one of these:

• Reveal character (who they are, what they want)
• Advance the plot (new information, decisions, conflict)
• Build tension (disagreement, subtext, stakes)

If a line doesn't do at least one? Cut it.

3. Subtext matters more than text

People rarely say what they mean. Good dialogue captures what's underneath.

Bad:
"I'm angry at you for forgetting my birthday."

Good:
"Don't worry about it. It's just another day."

The subtext says everything.

4. Conflict drives dialogue

Agreement is boring. Tension is interesting.

Boring:
"We should leave."
"I agree. Let's go."

Interesting:
"We should leave."
"After we find it."

Even small disagreements create forward momentum.

5. People talk past each other

In real conversation, people don't perfectly respond to what was just said. They have their own agendas.

"Did you finish the report?"
"The office is freezing. Did someone turn down the heat?"

This sounds more real than perfect exchanges.

Dialogue Tags: Less Is More

New writers overuse dialogue tags:

"I'm leaving," she said angrily.
"Don't go," he pleaded desperately.
"Too late," she retorted sharply.

Stop.

Use "said" 90% of the time.

It's invisible. Readers skip over it. That's good.

Use other tags sparingly:

• "Asked" for questions
• "Shouted" for volume
• "Whispered" for secrecy

Everything else? Show it through action or the dialogue itself.

Instead of:
"I'm leaving," she said angrily.

Write:
"I'm leaving." She slammed the door.

Or better:

"I'm leaving. Don't follow me."

The words carry the anger.

Rhythm and Pacing

Dialogue has rhythm. Short lines create tension. Long lines build atmosphere or reveal character depth.

Tension (short):
"Where is it?"
"Gone."
"Gone where?"
"Does it matter?"

Revelation (longer):
"I've been thinking about what you said last week, about how I never finish anything, and you're right. I start projects, get excited, then lose interest when it gets hard. It's a pattern I've had since I was a kid."

Vary the rhythm. Fast exchanges for conflict. Longer speeches for important moments.

Common Mistakes

1. Info dumps disguised as dialogue

"As you know, Bob, we've been working together for fifteen years at this company that manufactures widgets, and our biggest client is..."

If Bob knows it, why are they talking about it?

2. Everyone sounds the same

Your characters should have distinct voices. Word choice, sentence length, formality—these vary by character.

A teenager doesn't talk like a professor. A CEO doesn't talk like a barista.

3. Too much dialect

"Ah reckon we oughta git goin', y'hear?"

Hard to read. Slows momentum. Use hints of dialect (word choice, syntax) instead of phonetic spelling.

The Test

Read your dialogue out loud.

If it sounds stiff, awkward, or unnatural? Rewrite it.

If you can hear a real person saying it? Keep it.

Good dialogue disappears. The reader hears the character, not the writer.

In Practice

Writing Threads of Resilience, I rewrote every conversation multiple times.

First draft: people said what they meant.
Second draft: people said what they thought they meant.
Final draft: people avoided saying what they meant.

The third version sounded real.

Because real people rarely say exactly what they're thinking. They hint. They deflect. They reveal truth accidentally.

Your dialogue should do the same.